Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

Someone telling you not to feel guilty rarely cures guilt. Self-forgiveness can be a long and complicated process. Teasing out the difference between guilt and regret can be tough. Living amends is a concept linked to addiction recovery and part of the twelve-step program for sober living. In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you. Having the support of this scholarship to help me be able to stay in sober living has greatly increased my spiritual and emotional health.

living amends

You need to find the approach that works best for you. Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach living amends out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease.

The Application Process

When she takes a breath, I ask if she wants my opinion. Over the years, in small bits and pieces, I have been able to share small pearls of my Al-anon wisdom. But, by facing reality and the long-term impact of your actions, and making amends to those you’ve hurt, you’re able to make peace with the past and put it behind you and move forward. On the opposite side of the street are those individuals who simply say, “All of my amends would hurt people.

Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction. We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding.

What Should Be the Goal with Making Amends?

I have made life long friends in this process and feel so blessed to feel “a part of” a community of like minded people I can count on and they can count on me as well. It’s hard to describe in words how homelessness effects people. My plans are to continue things I do daily that help me stay on the beam in my recovery. I have been meeting lots of people within the aa community and have a few promising job leads. I have also joined up with a group of musicians who get together before meetings and play music.

  • It sounds complicated, but the movie is accessible, and both Pugh and Freeman are great when they share the screen together.
  • Here is $200, and if I’m incorrect and owe you more, I will repay the remainder.
  • Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles.
  • The purpose of Step Nine is to acknowledge the harm caused during active addiction and to make it right with the people involved, as much as possible.


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